Religious but not Spiritual

I know many people these day claim to be spiritual but not religious. I’ve thought about leveling a critique at that position, but in the end I don’t really care. For a good satire of this, read: http://tinyurl.com/5dt2t6. Being raised an evangelical, I often felt that spiritual experience was secondary to the cognitive/ethical aspects of Christianity. I still feel this way. In fact, the other day I told a friend that God is dead to me. I mean that in a deeply personal way. I’ve never felt a connection with some outside transcendence. In the past, I would be angry at myself and/or God. Or perhaps I would blame this lack of experience on a variety of sins in my life. I recognize that my spiritual life is inextricably linked to my theological preferences, however I would like to point out that even if I focused heavily on death-of-God theology, my real loyalties lie with liberation theology. Hopefully, after I get my degree I’ll work with survivors of domestic violence.

Enough of the biography, I’m wondering if anybody is else in my position who feels religious but not spiritual. I don’t mean to suggest that my emotions towards my beliefs or that my convictions are apathetic, they mean a great deal to me. However, my contact with God has been far and few between. This is why I often express hesitancy at much of the emergence church’s focus so much on community. For some reason, the Enlightenment has been turned into the Inquisition. Although, I recognize the importance of community, I still feel as if there’s a large part of me who believes that personal belief is hugely important. I’d also to disagree with Pascal’s position that says the best way to have faith is to go through the motions of liturgy and faith will follow. I’ve gone through the motions for 22 years, and God still seems all the further away. I’ve though about discussing some Simone Weil where she argues when we feel abandoned by God, we are actually closest to God because himself has experienced forsakenness from himself on the cross. I don’t feel abandoned, though. I’m not suffering.